I was feeling very attacked tonight.
I’ve had a wonderful day, getting to fully enjoy some of the cool resources at El Rancho. There are amazing ministry opportunities lying ahead that are sure to stretch us and force us to grow. I’d had some great conversations today. My brain was doing well;
Until about an hour ago.
I think partially the struggle began because I found out my little sister had a rough night and that breaks my heart always. Things just seemed to go downhill from there. I feel as though everyone’s spirits dampened immensely. It culminated when I was sitting alone in my flat and heard this far-off, blood-curdling scream that I am now positive was in my head. I know I sound nuts, but it’s true. I began to shake and felt extremely uneasy. So I picked up my Bible.
I’ve been reading through Acts recently to get a feel for what the first century church really looked like. I’ve been so eager to see what it meant for them to really experience God. So when I picked up tonight, I was in chapter 20. Paul is about to leave the elders in Ephesus and has a few parting words for them. He says in verses 22-25 (AMP):
And now, you see, I am going to Jerusalem, bound by the [Holy] Spirit and obligated and compelled by the [conviction of my own] spirit, not knowing what will befall me there–Except that the Holy Spirit clearly and emphatically affirms to me in city after city that imprisonment and suffering await me. BUT NONE OF THESE THINGS MOVE ME; neither do I esteem my life dear to myself, if only I may finish my course with joy and the ministry which I have obtained from [which was entrusted to me by] the Lord Jesus, faithfully to attest to the good news (Gospel) of God’s grace (His unmerited favor, spiritual blessing, and mercy).
It is so cool to me that God brought me to this scripture tonight, and here’s why:
On Sunday night, our team–us 10 girls–are leaving the safe confines of El Rancho in Waikanae to spend the following 12 days traveling around the North Island of New Zealand. We spent a lot of time praying over this trip and believe fully that God laid some very specific places on our hearts.
We have been compelled by the Holy Spirit to travel to our comparative Jerusalem.
Now, we certainly don’t have to worry about imprisonments, and suffering will most likely consist of little more than mild discomfort–we each are only bringing one backpack to last us the 12 days. Furthermore, we are almost positive that we will have a place to stay in each city we’re traveling through. That may not be for certain, but God will provide and lead us exactly where we need to be.
I do believe, however, that we may have to face suffering in regards to the spirit. I feel the spiritual warfare already resting heavily on my heart and it may only grow stronger and more fierce, as we strive to do His will and preach His word in this country.
Pray, PRAY, that “none of these things move” us. We have such an important course to run, a course entrusted to us by the Almighty God. He has chosen His servants carefully–not because we are qualified, but because He has drawn us to Himself and we have chosen the better way.
Pray for us as we embark on this amazing journey, that we would run this course with joy and that we would not esteem our lives as dear to ourselves. Pray that we would sacrifice ourselves and bear our crosses gracefully, living in His light and looking fully to His face.
